Cops & Robbers

This past weekend I paid a quick, surprise visit to my brother Oakley’s place in Toronto.

Now don’t be fooled by these two adorable faces. As soon as you turn around to go sit at your computer, we’re conspiring in the background on our next act of mischief or tomfoolery!

Crusoe Oakley Dachshunds

We make a great team; Oakley is a natural trouble-maker, and I’m a natural smooth-talker. So we’re good at getting ourselves in-and-out of trouble!

Oftentimes you’ll see us seemingly watching the squirrels together atop the back of the couch, when actually we’re planning the next crazy-fun, tear-up-the-house activity we’re about to do!

Dachshunds Watching Out the Window

This time I suggested we play a game of “cops & robbers”, and I showed him the new WDPD police car I brought along.

(WDPD standing for Wiener Dog Police Department of course…)

Cops and Robbers

So of course Oakley’s first remark was, “Oh, oh, can I be the cop?! I want to drive!

“Are you sure?” I asked. “Do you remember the multiple accidents you had in your fire truck? In fact, the truck is still in the shop from when you t-boned the cupboard. Don’t you think you might be best to ‘steer clear’ of emergency vehicles for now?”

“No, no, no, I want to drive!” He said. “I need to redeem myself!”

Well, since he insisted, I figured why not?… And so, Officer Oakley was born!

Officer Oakley

It wasn’t without some coaching though – I had to tell him to “sit up straight”, and, “tuck in that shirt!”

He was so excited to test out his new ride he could barely contain himself. Especially once he discovered that the lights actually flash!

Wiener Dog Police Department

And of course, the slogan for the WDPD is “to squeak and destroy!”

Doesn’t he look proud?

Police Car Dachshund Costume

And cute, obviously.

Heck, I’m sure most people would speed on purpose just to get pulled over by this guy! Now that’s the sort of wingman-brother I’ve been waiting for! The chicks will be lining up at the police station to confess their “crimes” in no time!

But anyway, as is customary with Oakley, it wasn’t long before his hat fell over his eyes and then he was driving around in a wild panic.

Police Car Dog Costume

Luckily I was able to jump in and help him before he could do any damage to our shiny new police car!

“There ye’ go Oakley…” I said as I lifted his hat up. “Now try not to freak out next time that happens. We want to pick up the chicks.. not run them over.”

Cute Dachshunds Oakley and Crusoe

And so finally we were ready for our first round of “cops & robbers” – but first, we needed a bad guy!

That’s me! Here I am as the rough and tough robber. I just busted out of the joint 2 months ago, have been hitting the gym like crazy, and am back in the game lookin’ for the next big score of squeaky balls! (That’s my back story; makes the game more realistic that way). 

Crusoe the Robber

Oakley said he was ready, but I couldn’t help but notice he looked a bit uneasy – for which I can’t blame him.

Heck, he hasn’t driven a vehicle since the fire truck.. and we all know how that went.

Cops & Robbers Dachshund

So I explained how the game would work; “I’ll sneak around the house with my stolen bag of squeaky balls, and you have to try and spot me – and then chase me down!”

And here’s how it went:

Whoohoo! That was fun!

And he didn’t even crash! I was so impressed. Although he did rear-end me right at the end there. I had to warn him not to take this whole police chase thing too literally.

We played a few more rounds, and although I must admit Oakley’s driving has significantly improved, he DID have to call for a tow truck just once...

Oakley call a tow truck

Just a little fender bender, so I told him not to fret about it. “At least you didn’t run anybody over..”

Next up, we decided to try a round downstairs. This time I was to be looting the cupboard of treats when Officer Oakley catches me red-handed!

Dachshund Raids cupboard

And well, you’ll see what happens, but this time he seemed a little confused; driving right past me as if he didn’t even see me!

“Oakley! What the heck?!” I exclaimed, “That was the complete opposite of our previous chase! You don’t have to run me over, but you have to at least try to catch me!”

“Sorry” Oakley said. “I thought I smelled donuts and got a little distracted there…”


So being the good older brother I am, I let him catch me anyway..

Police Dog Costume

Although it still bugs me he hasn’t tucked in his shirt yet..

Oakley was so happy with his police work that day that he decided to keep on his uniform. I later found him keeping watch of the front yard, with his police car nearby if he needed to jump into a quick chase.


That’s my brother Oakley! He may be a bit clumsy, but he always takes his jobs very seriously!

Keep chasin’,

~ Crusoe

Enjoy my brother Oakley? You’ll find more of him in my new book available on pre-order below! 




12 Responses to Cops & Robbers

  1. Crusoe and Oakley, you did it again, I loved that story so much, it was so funny, and I am glad that Oakley had a leading role in this one, he has improved so much. You have taught him good!!!! Keep up the great work~~~

  2. Crusoe, you are a great big brother! We love Oakley as the “cop”, even if he doesn’t tuck in his shirt 🙂 Good job!! 🙂

  3. That was the greatest! ALWAYS love your posts. I’m so happy for your success! Being the proud Dad of two wonderful double dapple dachshunds myself, I truly enjoy seeing all the pics and seeing all your great adventures!

  4. I have to say you guys make my day!! Our Black and Tan Dachshund Abel is a huge fan!! Abel and his big brother (a coonhound named Eli) watch the videos with their mommies with the utmost attention! Oakley and Crusoe make the best team!!
    Love the Ladds from Oregon!

  5. Crusoe and Oakley, What a sweet surprise! I’m two years late in discovering this 2015 post of yours. Whether or not you’ll ever see this new note, I still just want to thank you for making me laugh out loud when I ‘should’ be crying right now! How adorable you two are and that Police car with flashing lights and all. Wow! Oakley, I love it when you went speeding past the camera in a blur and looking straight ahead, whizzing right past the perp! Hahahaha! Then you snagged him by rear-ending him. Hey, as long as you caught him; that’s what counts — ‘in the end’, right?! Haha! Cru, I’ve always loved your ‘Cops & Robbers’ stills & vids. i bought your second calendar featuring you with your donut and coffee and yawning due to a slow day, it seems. Still sad that I missed your first calendar as was a tad too late in discovering you. You look so handsome in that cover picture in your Policeman’s hat and patrol car. I’m still trying to catch up with your past posts whenever I can. You and Oak are ambassadors from heaven, for sure! xoxo….

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Crusoe the Celebrity Dachshund

Crusoe is the wiener dog extraordinaire who has won the hearts of many through his wacky home-made outfits, viral videos, NYTimes Bestselling book, and larger-than-life personality.


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