Recently my producer came to me and said, “Crusoe, we need to see more butts”.
At first I thought he was playing a prank on me, but then he continued, “seriously, the numbers don’t lie. Fans go crazy for your butt. Oakley’s too. So in your next post we need to see more of those hunky haunches”.
“With pleasure!” I told him.
So fans, hope you’re happy – this post features lots of cute butts. Couple that with the fact that Oakley and I are back as the Dachshund Fire Brigade, and we’ve got a surefire winner with the ladies!
But let’s start at the beginning.
It was only by a last-minute decision that my brother Oakley decided to head up to my chalet for another quick weekend with me. Perhaps he wanted his redemption for his earlier fire drill mishap where he crashes into the cupboard.
So anyway, we decided to try again – the scenario this time being a barbecue fire drill.
Here was our first run through…
As you can see, Oakley didn’t quite make the turn out of the bedroom, but did employ a nice and quick 3-point-turn recovery. Then at the sliding door we had a little miss-communication as to “who should go first”.
We discussed this during the review meeting afterwards, wherein I told him that the firefighter (myself) should always be first to arrive on scene, followed by the firetruck.
So with that understanding, we tried again…
A bit closer! But not quite!
You have to admire Oakley’s turn around the bed though – with a nice little drift into the wall – just enough to bounce him back onto track. From there he makes it all the way to the sliding door, but just miscalculates the width of his truck to the opening.
Oh well, at least we’re getting better, step by step! And at least we could decide who goes out the door first!
[As my fan Pam Gray said on Facebook, “Oakley’s insurance rates must be through the roof with kind of driving…”]
It was then that I told Oakley we should pose for a quick glamour shot for my next calendar! Because who doesn’t love sexy wiener dog firefighters in their calendar?
I’m sure this photo alone will make it sell off the shelf!
After all that excitement, we needed to wind down and relax a bit, so I suggested to Oakley we take a nice boat ride into town where we can stop at the beach and then go get some ice cream.
He was of course ‘on board’ with that!
But before we boarded, I had to hear it once – you know what I’m talking about…
“Permission to come aboard, oh great and handsome Fleet Admiral?”
Why yes, please do! ; )
I’ve been so happy about my latest promotion to Fleet Admiral that I even waited on the pier 30 minutes early before our departure time just to show off my new shoulder boards!
That’s a stunning figure of a dachshund if I ever saw one!
But once we cast off, I (reluctantly) passed the wheel temporarily over to Dad so Oakley and I could get a bit more comfortable.
From Navy uniform to board shorts…
…That’s why they call me a dog of many talents.
So with our ears in the wind and noses to the sea, we were constantly on the lookout for the beach and any babes that may be floundering and in need of rescuing.
We didn’t find any of the latter, but we did eventually find the beach.
You would think that chicks would be flocking around us like a bunch of seagulls around someone’s lunch, but we only seemed to draw attention from onlookers, who appeared to find something funny about our appearance…
“Oakley, are you not flexing?!” I asked, suddenly considering this as the issue.
“Always bro, just like you taught me!” Oakley quickly responded in his macho voice – although he didn’t look it. However, I do have to commend him, as he has been shaping up a bit since our last encounter now that he’s on a diet.
“There’s no chicks here”, he said. “Let’s go get some ice cream!”
“What about your diet?!”
“Who needs a diet when there’s no ladies around?”
“Fine”, I said. “But you have to come with me on a good
walk expedition afterwards”. So that sealed the deal, and we were off to get some ice cream.
– But not as Crusoe and Oakley. No, we were getting ice cream as BATDOG & Robin (just in case any chicks came by and saw us stuffing our face with ice cream, at least we’d be superheros).
Synchronized lickers – a true team!
And eyes shut out of pure delicious, creamy pleasure!
But as I should have suspected, Oakley soon finished his and was looking to get into my cone!
Getting into my ice cream – now that’s where I’ll have to draw the line as a ‘team’.
After that little treat it was back home, but not before I happened to notice something amazing during the boat ride on the way back…
“What kind of superhero is this?! That can fly above the water with a jet stream from his feet?! …I must have…
Dad is going to make me this. I don’t care what safety concerns you may have.. An amphibious airborne wiener is the next level of awesomeness I must attain.
Once we were back at the house, both Oakley and I were waiting by the door, ready for our expedition.
It was an adventure as always.
And although Mum and Dad had trouble in some of the overgrown paths, us dachshunds enjoy the convenience of walking right under the undergrowth!
It’s always a blast when my brother Oakley comes to visit, and I’m so glad he surprised me with an extra weekend.
But you haven’t seen the last of him. Heck, we still have lots of practice to do as firefighter and fire truck…!
In the meantime, we’ll be both doin’ our thing…
That is, Oakley lookin’ for chipunks – me for babes.
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