My New Year’s Resolutions

Since I am on a ever-long quest for self-perfection, I figured I would join in all the fun and set some new year’s resolutions for myself. It’s already been 3 weeks since the clock struck 2014, so I already have some updates for how I’m doing on each.

I’m not going to lie, Mum pressured me into making some of these.

Stop being so damn sexy

Ah heck, who am I kidding, I already broke this one on January 1st. But what else did you expect?

Sexy Crusoe

Get Really Good at Agility

OK – I’m already “really good” by my standards, but I want to become “amazingly good” at agility. I just started my level 2 again, and I’m off to a good start!


Let’s just say it’s a good thing I didn’t have a new year’s resolution to ‘stop being so damn cute’, because I would have broke that one pretty quickly too.

Cute Dachshund Crusoe

Exercise More

You’re probably surprised to hear me say this since I’m already in peak physical addition, but this cold winter has made it hard for me to lead as many expeditions as I would have liked.

So I might have to fit in some extra exercise time like this little pup!

Stop being so bossy

I am exceptionally bossy, demanding everything from treats to new squeaky balls to even scratching the couch and then looking at Mum as to say, “put a blanket on me already”.

Well, here’s my passive aggressive way of demanding Dad’s leftover cereal milk in the morning by scratching the railing.

The longer they keep me from enjoying that sweet sweet milk, the more damage there will be for them to repair.

And when I want to go to PetSmart, I want to go to PetSmart!

PetSmart Gift Card

Be More Affectionate with Mum

Can you tell I’ve had some motherly influence in writing these? Geez… Anyway, Mum says – I mean, I want to be more affectionate with Mum, and likewise, accept her affection more “gratefully”.

So I’ve been doing my best…

Dachshund Love and Affection

Play More Squeaky Balls

As Mum and Dad have repeatedly lectured me on, “we have to save some of the squeaky balls to sell to the fans”. I agree in a sense, but I also can’t help demanding a new one now and then. Oops – there’s that bossiness again.

Doxie Squeaky Balls

Have More “Class” When Eating Yogurt

This one I decided totally on my own when Dad showed me this picture of what I looked like after enjoying the rest of an empty yogurt container.

Dachshunds Like Yogurt!

Yes, I have yogurt on my eyebrows… so what?!

Stop Being So Grumpy

It’s true, at times I can be pretty grumpy. But then again, isn’t everyone sometimes?

This is my grumpy look after coming back from a walk in the rain.

Dachshunds Don't Like Being Wet

Help out more around the house

Historically, my only home cleaning duties entailed me dusting and polishing my trophies, but I think it would be a considerate gesture on my behalf to make an effort in helping out more around the house.

But obviously I couldn’t have people seeing “Crusoe the Celebrity Dachshund” doing typical everyday chores, so I had to dress up as Mum first.


As Dad would say, I made an “effort”, so that wraps up this resolution as complete!

Catch a squirrel

It’s been my lifelong dream to catch a squirrel. 2014 is my year, I can feel it!


Lord knows I’ve come close in the past!

Take more vacations

My life is probably more stressful than you think. Unlike non-celebrities, I have to constantly be thinking about my physical appearance, my next photo shoot, or what video I’m going to put out next.

So to cope with all that stress, more vacations are on the radar. And next up is my Caribbean sailing trip in April!

Dachshund Digging in Sand

Can’t wait to bury my nose in sand!

So fans, what were some of your new year’s resolutions? How have you been doing with them? Let me know in the comments!

Keep improvin’,

~ Crusoe

Don’t forget, the Crusoe 2014 Calendar is back in store!



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Crusoe the Celebrity Dachshund

Crusoe is the wiener dog extraordinaire who has won the hearts of many through his wacky home-made outfits, viral videos, NYTimes Bestselling book, and larger-than-life personality.


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