Captain Crusoe & First Mate Oakley

I just wrapped up a week-long vacation with my brother Oakley at my chalet in Quebec, and we had a blast. In fact, we were so busy that I can’t even fit it all into one blog post, so this one is featuring the specific adventures of Captain Crusoe and First Mate Oakley. Plus I have an all-new GoPro video you’ll want to check out a bit lower down!

Dog Sailor Costumes - Captain Crusoe & First Mate Oakley

Oakley had a lot to look forward to with this trip. He has been reading about Captain Crusoe with delighted anticipation in becoming First Mate aboard my ship.

However, I told him he couldn’t just step onto my boat and declare himself First Mate – he had to earn it, and until he did he would be Cabin Boy. He was a bit disappointed, but realized he had to earn his dues to work up the ranks.

Sailor Dachshund - Oakley!

I will mention however, that I was appointed honorary Captain status due to my celebrité.

The fact that I appointed myself is quite irrelevant, so don’t bother bringing it up. Many people also found it necessary to point out that my uniform only has 3 stripes, making me a Commander and not a Captain. Well, the fourth stripe is on my nose (my anchor birthmark) making me a full-fledged Captain and a natural born sailor. Just so we make that clear..

Captain Crusoe

I explained to Oakley that life aboard my ship is not about heaving anchor, hoisting yardarms or setting sail for any specific coordinates.

This is the love boat baby and its sole purpose is to seek out babes and host Sexy Lady Wiener Parties (#SLWP) in international waters. Any activities that lend themselves to achieving this goal are to be considered Oakley’s duties.

And our first task aboard was to film an attractive teaser video to which we could share around online, promoting the fact that there are two hunky sailors ready to catch an easy ‘breezy’ beautiful girl.

It worked well, as the video turned out to be fairly popular on Vine.

After that, we imagined the ladies would be flocking to us like seagulls over a fishing yard, and so we waited anxiously from deck.

Dachshunds on a Boat

It quickly became a matter of what looked most like a hot babe from far away. You’d be surprised at just how many things can look like a sexy lady when you’re this impatient to find one..

In fact, this part is better left to the GoPro video..

As you can see, luck didn’t exactly come our way, which is unfortunate especially considering how good I looked on that boat. I look good all the time, but this was ‘upper-echelon’ good. I have to say, a rear-view mirror is especially dangerous for someone as narcissistic as myself while driving. Mum had to remind me multiple times to keep my eyes ahead.

But seriously, can you really blame a dog when they look this good? Can you?!

Crusoe - Coolest Dachshund Ever

I was puzzled as to why the chicks never found their way here after our successful teaser trailer and all. I asked Oakley if he tagged our location when uploading the Vine video. He said he thought that he was supposed to put the location he’s from..

Argh! So somewhere near Oakley’s hometown someone is having an awesome #SLWP courtesy of us..


That thought doesn’t exactly float my boat.

As much as I was disappointed Oakley did that, there is one thing he can teach me – which is how to make the best of anything. He’s always happy just to be with everyone and have fun.

He reminded me of the plain and simple fact that ‘we’re on a boat!’ which is fun in and of itself. That was true, so I said “heck, let’s take this baby for a spin – and if we look good doin’ it, all the better.”

And he was right, it was awesome!

Cute Dogs on a Boat

Oakley, you just became First Mate to Captain Crusoe. Consider yourself honored.

As you can see, we make a good team – whether as BATDOG & Robin or Captain Crusoe & First Mate Oakley. We may not be able to tell the difference between a babe in a red and white bikini and a buoy marker, but at least I know he’s got my right when I got my left.

For our next trip I’ll be sure to invest in a telescope first though..

He’s also been watching a lot of my fishing videos and is looking forward to joining me in action. Stay tuned for this (with more GoPro videos) as well as my ‘date weekend with Gogo’ in upcoming posts ; )

Keep cruisin’,

~ Crusoe



22 Responses to Captain Crusoe & First Mate Oakley

  1. Crusoe, you and Oakley never fail to crack me up!!! Loved the GoPro vid, too. You both look so handsome in your summer whites. As I mentioned on your FB page, girls just love good looking guys in uniform!!! Soooo looking forward to hearing more about your weekend with the lovely miss Gogo. I’ll bet she loved your cute doxie butt as much as I do!!! Keep enjoying life boys, because you are both a couple of very lucky dogs!………your loving pal, Chris (Oregon USA).

  2. Crusoe and Oakley, you two are the best! I love your adventures together! What an awesome video. Your mom and dad are talented people!

  3. Frankfurter was very jealous to see your video.
    We have a boat but he never gets to go, he has to stay with his hairy hippy brother (from anothervmother).

    • That’s ok, at least they can keep each other company. Why not take them and see how they like it? : )

  4. Loved the boating adventure, you both are looking quite adorable….er, I mean handsome. The shot of you checking yourself out in the mirror was the best. Overall I rate your trip a success, babes or not babes, the video rocked!!!! Millie the doxie babette!

    • Thanks Teresa! Not sure what it was about the mirror, but I kept looking at myself (no tricks of the camera or anything)!

  5. Crusoe and Oakley you are the best…makes my heart skip a beat when I look at your photos or your videos…keep them coming!

  6. Crusoe, you AND Oakley are our heroes!! We can’t wait each day to see what u 2 are up to. Whenever me and my mum feel low, all we have to do is see what u are up to! You AND Oakley ALWAYS make us smile! We also have noticed that Oakley is ALWAYS looking to you for your expertise and guidance! It warms our hearts that you have him in your life!! GOD BLESS YOU, OAKLEY AND YOUR MUM AND DAD for the hapiness you bring!!

  7. Ginger loved seeing both you and Oakley! Keep these great videos coming. I’m sure you both got lots of treats when this was over!!! You deserve them!!! Hugs, Ginger

  8. Oh you swabbies!!! Crusoe, I AM the boatin babe of your dreams…this is Calypso Jacque… aka Callie your Fl Weinerette who lives in Orlando and has fsmiky at Crystal River—I believe your winter get away.. I will be waiting when you come down this fall but bro has got to go —1st mate should always be the Lady of tge boat and besides I have a pretty awesome sexy little life jacket!! See you soon

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    How to get it? Search for; Mertiso’s tips go viral

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Crusoe the Celebrity Dachshund

Crusoe is the wiener dog extraordinaire who has won the hearts of many through his wacky home-made outfits, viral videos, NYTimes Bestselling book, and larger-than-life personality.


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