Cooking with Crusoe: Steak & Sweet Potatoes

On this episode of Cooking with Crusoe, I’ll be making a delicious home-cooked meal of steak and sweet potatoes for dogs. That’s right, this is not a human food recipe this time, although I’m sure people would enjoy anything Chef Crusoe puts out.

Plus, I’ll also be showing you how to cook with “love” (and a bit of lust). Make sure to check out the video summary below, too!

Crusoe in his Dog Chef Costume!


  • A nice big, juicy steak.
  • A sweet potato.
  • Coconut oil.
  • Rice (if you’re boring and want to add it).

Step 1: Lick it

First of all, the smell of steak has already got me licking my chops. I have to be careful while cooking this as I could be tempted to take a bite, even in it’s raw form.

Cute Chef Crusoe

But it’s good to be hungry while you cook. That just makes the activity all the more engaging and fun.

So the first step here is to take the steak out of its packaging, lay it on the cutting board, and give it a good conquering stare to tell yourself you won’t take a bite out of it until you’re done preparing the meal.


I couldn’t help but take a couple licks just to wet my appetite, but that’s acceptable – so you know.

Step 2: Spank it, baby

Now we have to tenderize this steak so that it melts in our mouth. Us dogs often forget to chew when it comes time to eating something as scrumptious as this, so it’s best to at least serve it somewhat pre-chewed.

Most people would call this action ‘tenderizing’, but we’re making this meal with love (and a bit of lust), and so it’s called ‘spanking it’.


I am quite proficient at this, considering my many attendances to Sexy Lady Wiener Parties..

Step 3: Bust out the oil

That’s right – we’re about to get kinky with some coconut oil. Coconut oil is really good for dogs, both as a food and an exterior application. It has anti-inflammatory, antibacterial, and antifungal properties, whatever the heck all that means. Most importantly, it’s tasty and really good for our health.

Coconut Oil for Dog Food

This is what we’re going to use to sear our steak in.

But while you have authorized access to snoop in the cupboard, take this opportunity to make a mental note of any stashes of treats or cookies in there. I will exploit this at a later chance when Mum and Dad are unaware.


Step 4: Intermission

I know it’s just getting excited, but this is where I briefly step out of the kitchen for a little intermission. You see, supposedly the potatoes take longer to cook than the steak, and due to my limited foresight we now have to play ‘catch up’ on the potatoes so everything will be ready at the same time.

I told Mum that nobody wants to see me cook potatoes (because they’re boring), so that she could do it while I caught a quick nap.

Cute Dachshund Sleeping

Step 5: Make it sizzle

Now for the fun part. This is where we add in our coconut oil to the pan, let it melt down (which it will do quickly), and then toss in our steak.

Are you paying attention?

Click to enlarge or to save as a screensaver/background.


It’s important to hear the sizzle. Shaking the pan back and forth doesn’t really do anything, but it does enhance the sound and make you look more like a chef.

Step 6: Take a video

So for those of you who like to skimp on the reading, here’s a quick 6-second Vine video tutorial:

Notice my little ‘hop-to’ when getting started? This is recommended.

As I mentioned earlier, you can also add a bit of white rice into the recipe for a little more substance, but it’s the steak that I care about (sweet potatoes are pretty good too though).

Step 7: Indulge the senses

And finally, now we get to indulge in our delicious creation. With this meal I recommend a nice Pinot Noir or Cabernet Sauvignon red wine, but feel free to pair with whatever suits your taste best. 

Take a (brief) moment to admire your creation, sniff the aromas, and let the slobber build up in your mouth.

Steak and Sweet Potatoes - Dog Meal!

And when you’re ready, chow down like it’s your last meal on Earth.

(But seriously, it’s good to eat slow).

Homemade dog food recipe

Step 8: Brag about it to your friends

This is pretty much what I’ve done by writing this post. And hey, if ye’ dig it, feel free to do likewise!

Hope you liked my steak and potatoes meal. It was absolutely delicious. Try it yourself sometime!

And fans, I have one little favor to ask! As you know, I recently took home the prize for Best Pet Blog of 2013 at the Bloggies. But guess what – there’s another award I have my eye on, and that’s a Petties Pet Blog Award! If you could nominate me for Funniest Blog (I don’t really mean to be funny but supposedly it comes off that way) that would be awesome and much appreciated! I need to continue on my steak streak and my ever-continuous quest for becoming more of a celebrity than I think I am!

Thanks so much fans! You’re the best.

Keep sizzlin’,

~ Crusoe



21 Responses to Cooking with Crusoe: Steak & Sweet Potatoes

  1. Love your newest cooking blog & video. Love the video from the first “hop to” to the “eating like it’s your last meal on earth!!” Love your oh so earnest expressions, you are a doll!!!!

  2. There is a rumor going around the internet that you will be using your culinary skills to lure the opposite sex to another SLWP. If that’s the case, count me in! The rumor also says you will be featuring a wine tasting with the various meals you will be featuring. Will your mum be around, or just the boys at home…ummm…if the rumor is true.
    Sweet, sunshiny, synergistic, SIZZLIN’, and single <3Bonnie Lee<3

    • IF the rumor is true, which it probably is, I’ll have to have Mum there this time (got in trouble last time). And I’m sure I’ll be cookin’ up something steamy ; )

  3. Well, Crusoe, not only does your meal look delish, but your culinary moves were quite impressive. Especially for someone without thumbs! I think our very own Food Network might be interested in a talented canine chef. At the very least, you deserve a feature on Animal Planet for “amazing canine culinary achievement!!!” How many dogs do we know who can bring home the, er, “bacon” and cook it up, too, and look totally h-o-t while doing it?!? Your talents are seemingly unlimited, Cru – have you considered hiring a Hollywood agent???

    • Thanks Chris, still waiting for my call from Animal Planet. I should probably get a real agent. Mum and Dad have not been living up to my career standards..

  4. I just submitted my vote for you Crusoe. Reading about you and your adventures/antics crack me up every time! I can’t wait until the next one! Keep them coming!

  5. Hey Crusoe! I love your blog!!! It inspired me to make my own blog about dachshund life! I have pretty much read it from the very start! HUGE FAN!

    P.S We look just alike! 🙂

    • That’s so great! I just checked out your blog. That’s the same theme I started with, too! : )

      Thanks for mentioning me on your blog.

      Keep ballin’,

      ~ Crusoe

  6. Just wanted to say the boys loved your cooking episode. They said they have to give your steak and potato a try. Fargo also wanted to let you know they nominated you and will vote for you as they are big fans.

  7. Coincidentally we’re having a pork chop and sweet potatoes for dinner tonite – great minds think alike! Have coconut oil on the shopping list – thanks for the tip! We love you, Crusoe! Lionel, Dante and Picasso, Kansas City Mo.

  8. Hi Crusoe! I made this awesome theme song for you!
    The tune is “Border of Life” just look up “Border of life vocal.
    tell me how you like it.

    Da-ashing Da-ashing always rewarded,
    His Mu-um and Da-ad we-eving the road.
    Cru-usoe please tell all of your tales to your blog,
    Someday to be buried deep within the web!

    Masculine and
    Such a cute dog
    I can barely keep myself contained.
    Such a cute dog
    Makes me LOL
    And such a very famous celebrity.
    Who could hate such a adorable dachshund
    He will make you Awww
    A-and LOL
    Ok back up to the cre-ative cho-orus

    Pa-anting Pa-anting always rewarded.
    His Mu-um and da-ad weaved the road.
    Cru-usoe, please alight all of you posts to the wind,
    Someday to be lifted deep within the sky!

    How did you like it? Be sure to check out the tune on YouTube!

  9. Hello Crusoe! I am Dott (a cute young female black and tan smooth hair mini like you) along with my sister Cinnamon (a young red smooth hair mini), two of your most loyal fans writing to tell you we love your cooking video. We both think you are a hot “Schnitzal”. We check our computer every day to see what you are up to next.

    We were wondering when you will begin sponsoring your own Crusoe branded dachshund clothing line. It is so hard to find jackets and sweatshirts that fit us dachshunds correctly.

    Keep up posting your exciting life events. We can’t wait for the next episode.

  10. Pets are an extremely important part of our life and I can’t even begin to imagine our family’s lives without our loveable and floppy Basset Hounds, Fred and Lucy. They bring all of us so much joy and comfort, and I know we are fortunate to have them. Unfortunately, there are so many pets and animals who aren’t as fortunate as Fred and Lucy to be part of a loving family like ours.

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Crusoe the Celebrity Dachshund

Crusoe is the wiener dog extraordinaire who has won the hearts of many through his wacky home-made outfits, viral videos, NYTimes Bestselling book, and larger-than-life personality.


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