Sexy Ladies Wiener Party!

As you know, Mum has been away for two weeks in St. Lucia, leaving Dad and I to fend for ourselves at home. We’ve done a pretty good job though, and alongside just keeping the house from falling apart, we’ve even had time to organize a party – or perhaps that was at the expense of keeping the house from falling apart..

If you read my last post about my time with Dad, you’ll have seen me putting up flyers for my ‘sexy ladies wiener party’ at the dog park. You may have thought this was a joke, but Dad and I take our party business very seriously.

However, I realized that I forgot to include a date and time on my flyer (or rather Dad did), so I was worried no one would show up. I never should have doubted my ‘celebrity’ though, because the ladies flocked here. Heck, my fan Bonnie Lee was ready to drive across the border from NY just to attend, and I’m sure many others would have traveled just as far or further.

Before any ladies arrived though, I had to get all cleaned, shined, and freshened up. I am a gentleman of the highest regard, and never entertain company without a warm bath beforehand.

People often pre-drink before a big party. Well, playing a little bathtub ball is my version of predrinking – it gets me all wound up and energized!

Wiener dog in the shower

The underwater paw-raise signifies I am at my full alertness.

Party Time!

Then the ladies arrived. The turnout was bigger than I imagined, with a line outside and down the sidewalk of hot-to-trot babes waiting to get in. I had to start charging cover at the door just to regulate the inflow of dogs. We started with the usual introductions and small talk on the couch.

Wiener Dog Party

I am surprised myself I even remember their names after such a crazy party, but here we have from left to right: Glory, Zoey, myself, Daisy, Gogo, Heidi and Lily. They are all from my local dachshund club.

A personal note: I am first and foremost an internet celebrity, and so in fact do not meet many of my fans in person.

Sausage Fest Wiener Dogs

So in truth, I was a bit nervous for this party and kept looking to Dad for reassurance that I was doing a good job – to which he would respond with a wink and a thumbs up.

Crusoe's Sexy Lady Party

But what I realized was that the girls were even more nervous to meet me than I was to meet them. The chick to my left (Daisy) couldn’t take her ‘eyes of disbelief’ off me.

I even gave a kiss to the hand of the human named Michele who accompanied Glory, to which she responded that she would never wash her hand again.

That went straight to my head as usual.

So with my confidence now in full pulsation, I finally made the daring move of inviting all the girls up to the bedroom. As mentioned in my previous post, it was only a matter of time before things got weird..

Crusoe and his ladies

I watched with quiet content from the corner of the bed as the girls frolicked in their moments of playful pillow fights and hide-and-go-seek. It was then that I hid under the covers, only to be followed by the others, including the 10-year-old Gogo here who seemed to have a particular attachment to me.

Crusoe under the covers

I am probably making the millions of my other lady fans steamingly jealous at this, so perhaps it’s better I cut the story off here. I wish they all could have been here though.

So to wrap it up, let’s just say my party ended with a ‘bang’.

Mum comes home

This party never would have happened with Mum around, I’m sure. She wouldn’t want to see her baby boy being seduced and seducing women, and engaging in promiscuous acts of debauchery. So thankfully she wasn’t here, but Dad and I had a heck of a time cleaning up – including trying to hide all the different colored dog hairs which Mum would surely notice.

Anyway, the next day after the party, Dad and I went to pick her up. I was of course very excited to see her. I love the ladies, but nothing comes close to my Mum.

She told me she brought me back some treats, which is why I was so excited to receive her bags.

And with all the commotion of preparing for, having, and cleaning up after the party, I haven’t even had a chance to think about Mother’s Day yet.

I need my thinking glasses tout de suite.

Keep partyin’,

~ Crusoe

Edit [May 12, 2013]: Mum found out about our little party and so Dad and I were due for a night on the couch..




17 Responses to Sexy Ladies Wiener Party!

  1. Well, I think my mum pulled one over on me, Crusoe! I had a driver and my plans were in place to attend the “Sexy Ladies Weiner Party.” All I needed was my passport. We ‘looked’ all over for it then suddenly Mum remembers it’s at the bank in her safety deposit box & the bank was closed!! I think she knew this all along and was fearful of me going to the party! Mum reminded me that when your mum isn’t home…something weird always happens like “promiscuous acts of debauchery.” What the heck does that mean, anyway??
    Oh well…looked like you had a super Mum’s Day!
    Scintillating, seismological, shatterproof, somber, and still single, Bonnie Lee <3 <3

    • Wish you could have been there Bonnie! It was a riot! Why wouldn’t your mum want you to come, I thought she liked me?! I’ll have to have a word with her. I guess she’s just protecting her baby.. : )

      Stay innocent, Bonnie <3

  2. Awesome post Crusoe! The things you get away with…mmmm, mmmm! Loved the pics of you and all the ladies. Looked like the party was a blast! You tell your mum that it’s okay for boys to be boys once in a while, okay? 😉

    Two of your biggest fans,

    Ranger and Mom

    • I think Mum understood what we were doing, but still, she had to put her foot down. Oh well, we learned and we’ll be sneakier next time ; )

  3. My Little Margaret asked if she could be flown over from Scotland but we werent sure what airlines would allow a cheeky rascal mini on their planes!
    Maybe next time…x

    • I’m sure they would! You won’t know unless you try! Hope to see you at my next party. I heard the Scottish gals know how to party ; )

  4. My boys and I love your adventures they sound so exciting. Fargo, Lil Scooter, Harley D and their big brother Gunner love adventures also but luckily no girly parties yet lol. Now that we have read about your party I think they have secretly planning one. Please no advice if they ask. Fargo has requested I ask where you get your squeaky balls he loves things that squeak and balls so what a combo. Looking forward to your next adventure.

  5. Crusoe, dude, how do you manage? I have 2 full time staff – the butler and the maid and a full time PDA (personal doggie assistant) and can barely manage to be a legend in my own mind!
    I urge you to consider making Oakley a full time PDA. I have Jasper the Dim. He does the things for which I just don’t have time. You know: someone needs to look guilty and I’m getting my nap, someone needs to bark at the neighbours and I’m getting my beauty rest, someone needs to take on the squirrel and I’m taking my siesta….
    Keep up the good work – babes and all!

    • I’ll speak to Oakley to see if he’s interested. I’m sure he will be.. ; )

      Thanks for the tip!

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Crusoe the Celebrity Dachshund

Crusoe is the wiener dog extraordinaire who has won the hearts of many through his wacky home-made outfits, viral videos, NYTimes Bestselling book, and larger-than-life personality.


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