A Day in the Life of a Celebrity Dachshund

People often ask me what it’s like to be a celebrity – especially one who thinks they’re more of a celebrity than they really are. My fan Sophie even commented on one of my pictures saying, “I want to be reincarnated as you, Crusoe.” Well, of course she does.

I have a pretty interesting life to say the least. When I’m not off hitting the beach in the Bahamaslobster fishing in Maine, or swimming with manatees in Florida, I fall back into my regular routine – which although still extraordinary, may not seem all that different than your dog’s.

So here’s what an average day is like for Crusoe the Celebrity Dachshund, in chronological order.

1:23 am – under the covers


I guess this picture says enough about my love of all kinds of balls, as it’s not uncommon for me to fall asleep with one in my mouth. Sometimes I might even squeak it in my sleep.

8:15 am – wake up

Mum and Dad get up around this time for work. It’s at this time that I can usually be seen ‘snorkeling’ from under the covers.

Cover Snorkeling

I will usually sleep for another hour or two once they get up. I’ve told them before to make as little noise as possible so as not to disturb me, but I find I have to repeat myself quite often.

I feel like I’m living with children sometimes..

Anywhere between 9 to 11:00 am – I get up

After I’m satisfied that I’ve gotten enough beauty sleep, I get up. That’s when I head to the bathroom for my morning routine..

As you can see, I’ve got Mum pretty well-trained to hold my magazine while I do my business. So I can appreciate that, but you’d be surprised (or perhaps not) as to how many people would be willing to do that for me..

12:00 pm – lunch & a walk

After a quick healthy lunch, Mum takes me on my usual walk…

(Hope you caught that, because I was testing you). See below.

Dachshund Meme - He Doesn't Get Taken on Walks, He Leads Expeditions

I never walk – I only explore.

Here’s a 6-second glimpse into my daily expedition:

And if you thought that was exciting, you ain’t seen nothin’.

2:00 pm – sunbathing & babe watching

On nice days I like to go hang out on the balcony to get some sun, enjoy the breeze, and check out all the babes going by on their walks.

checkin' out the babes

Mum says she can often hear me whistling at the ladies from her [home] office.

And in rare but fun occasions, a squirrel dares to trespass on my balcony, wherein I let loose a whole heck of havoc that I pretty much knock Mum off her chair – and the squirrel off the balcony.

(Double whammy)

3:30 pm – thinking time

This is the time of day where I really have some quiet time to myself. I take to my Master Chair to do some thinking, whether it’s for an upcoming blog post, my next killer pickup line, or the mysteries of the universe (but I’ve just about figured them all out now).

As you can see, I only share my chair with a ducky or a squeaky toy.

Crusoe Dachshund

Once I’ve made some good progress in my chair, it’s time to release the tension.

Or in other words, take that ducky and the shake it, baby!.

5:30 pm – Dad comes home

This is one of the most exciting times of the day. Dad comes home and immediately it’s play time. He really knows how to get me going. In fact, I get so impatient that I repeatedly stomp the ground in anticipation!


6:30 pm – dinner and another walk expedition

I’m all about maintaining my health and physique, which comes with as many expeditions as possible.

So here’s another poster shot of me flexing.

Cool Explorer Dog

7:30 pm – evening massage

After a full of day of everything I just described, I like to unwind with a nice massage. And on a weekly basis, I get a full yogurt facial spa treatment, which is both tasty and great for the pores.

8:00 pm – neighborhood cruise

If I’m lucky, Dad might take me for a little cruise around the neighborhood as BATDOG. Usually I have my brother Oakley with me as Robin, but he’s now gone back home.


We say we do it to protect the neighborhood from crime and conspiracy, but Dad and I can’t help it if we slow down for the hotties..

And into the night…

The rest of the day usually entails some quality couch time where Mum and Dad attempt to watch TV while I continue with my array of attention-getting tactics, which generally includes incessant squeaking.

What a great way to wrap up a day.

So, how’s your day similar, or different?

Keep ballin’,

~ Crusoe



16 Responses to A Day in the Life of a Celebrity Dachshund

  1. Crusoe, as funny and adorable this blog post was, it brought a tear to my eye. The little vid of you “stomping” and wagging your tail while your dad was teasing you with his hand, brought sweet memories flooding back. I had a black/tan mini ween (her name was Cece) for 15 years who passed away about 4.5 years ago from old age (the vet thought she was about 19 yrs old). You are the spitting image of her, and she was really silly, much like you! I loved to tease her so she would “stomp” and wag her tail exactly as you did in your little video, with the same facial expression!! A couple minutes of that usually ended with her running circles around the room like something was chasing her! She just loved her playtime and was always ready for laughs. I’d had lots of dogs before her, but never of them ever amused our family as much as she did. She made us laugh every day of her life!!! Your little vid just brought back so many happy memories, I’m pleased to say, but just proved once again how much I still miss my little girl. Anyway, thank you for your blogs, photos, and videos – you are bringing a ton of joy and laughter o a lot of people!!! Love……Chris (your biggest fan in Oregon)

    • Aww. I’m sorry to make you sad, but happy I can keep the memories of Cece alive and with you. She sounds like quite the happy go-lucky little girl. I’m sure her and I would have got along great.

      Maybe you need another one to fill the void? My pictures and stories can only do so much..

      Thanks Chris. – Crusoe

  2. Ahhhh, a day in the life of a celebrity dachshund! Crusoe, what a life you lead! Keep your stories coming. Love ’em!

  3. This blog is in your top 5. The pictures of you snoozing with the ball in your mouth is FANtastic. All the vine’s are superb (especially the potty shot & impatient paw–by the way, you look like a little puppy in that one). Cannot express how funny you are and how you keep my mum and me laughing! My daily schedule:
    1-Get up around 6:30 am for breakfast and a walk around the block
    2-Back to bed until my pop takes me outside to do my business before he goes to work at 9am.
    3-Schnooze all day while everyone is working
    4-Mum gets home from work and I get dinner and another walk around the block–PLAYTIME–BARK TIME, PLAYTIME
    5-Dad gets home and I am deep into PLAYTIME, BARKING, PLAYTIME, bark out the window, PLAYTIME, (Mum says I must have snuck out & had a RedBull) PLAYTIME…BARK out the window…beg for food (never get any people food), keep barking at EVERYTHING outside, playtime
    6-Dad takes me out for another walk around the block
    7-PLAYTIME/bark time til about 8:30, then I finally peter out….then it starts all over again!!!
    Seasoned, selective, self-assured, sublime and still looking, <3 Bonnie Lee <3 XXOO

    • Woohoo, great to hear! I know you like those potty shots!

      You have a nice schedule yourself. I see a lot of barking and playtimes in there, which is always good. You’ll have to tell me what it is you’re taking (if it’s not Redbull ; )

      Thanks Bonnie Lee – you lovely little lady you !

  4. Just fabulous, Crusoe! Ginger and I wouldn’t expect your routine to be anything less than celebritytous..celebritous..celebritynifty..well, befitting your status! BOL!

    Here is Ginger’s routine:
    5 a.m.-whenever she decides: Wake Onie up by morphing into the “long-bodies mountain goat”, walk up and down, all around sleeping Onie until gets UP!

    6 a.m.-ish: Breakfast and morning walk.
    6:15 a.m.: Post-Breakfast nap while Onie gets ready for work.
    7:30 a.m.: Demand bellyrub and kiss Onie goodbye.
    7:31 a.m.: Sleep until noon, when Onie comes home for lunch and afternoon stroll/bellyrub fest.
    12:00 p.m.: Greet Onie spectacularly,walk and do my business, have treats, kiss Onie goodbye again (sigh).
    12:45 p.m.: Afternoon nap.
    5:30 p.m.: Wait by the door (i mean, think about that while lying down,still relaxing) for Onie to come home from work, whereupon I WIGGLE AND WAGGLE AND DANCE THE SCHNITZELDANCE BECUSE IT’S DINNERTIIIIIMMMMEEE!!!
    Then we go out for a walk, come in, have more treats, perhaps try to learn a new trick, maybe go for a drive (my favorite), play with my only toy Baby, and/or snuggle so I can fall asleep again!
    That sounds about right!
    I love Onie.
    Your friend, Ginger

    • ‘long body mountain goat’? lol

      ‘perhaps learn a new trick’? lol

      Your funny. Thanks Onie! Keep that schedule rollin’, ~ Crusoe

  5. Hi,
    The wiener dog who think he’s more of a celebrity compared to he is really (for now). Champion of the Best Canine Blogging site of 2013 at the Awards.

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Crusoe the Celebrity Dachshund

Crusoe is the wiener dog extraordinaire who has won the hearts of many through his wacky home-made outfits, viral videos, NYTimes Bestselling book, and larger-than-life personality.



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