I spent the last two weeks alone with Dad while Mum was away in St. Lucia. She just came back Thursday night, which was a long time awaited for me. Don’t get me wrong though, I like spending time with Dad. And sometimes it’s nice to not have Mum’s rules for a while. But without Mum around to ‘moderate’ my photo shoots, Dad and I got into some pretty weird stuff with the help of my camera crew. For instance, you would likely have never seen the below photo if Mum was around. As my manager, I’m sure she would say it’s ‘distasteful’ and ‘unflattering’ to the stellar celebrity image that together we have been working so hard to build.
I say, heck, call it a publicity stunt! Dad likes to take advantage of Mum’s absence by teaching me his lessons and tips for the ladies. Now I’ll give it to him that he landed Mum, but I don’t think he’s exactly the charmer he thinks he is. Regardless, I go along with his suggestions for the fun of it. Take for example the below silk boxers I’m modeling, which I custom-ordered online (so no, they aren’t Dad’s re-purposed boxers!) Anyway, he told me the ladies love silk boxers. Once Mum was back I took her aside and asked her if this was true. She told me the ladies would probably prefer the commando style for me. That’s understandable. Unlike humans, I’m allowed to go around naked, so why not show off what I’m packin’? He also told me that the ladies would like it if I striptease my collar off – taking it off nice and slooooooooooow. Mum actually agreed that this was sexy (as long as I do it). I like going on
walks expeditions with just Dad, too. We work as a team to go squirrel hunting, whereas Mum usually discourages this activity. Since he’s taller than me, he is the ‘eyes’, and will communicate to me using hand signals so we stay quiet. Palm up means stop and stay still. If he points ahead, it means go get it! We like to commemorate our hunting trips with some sort of iconic pose. As fun as all this was, I had a midweek crisis. Call me a momma’s boy if you like, but I really missed Mum. I started thinking up strategies to get her back home. So one night while Dad was in the shower, I picked up the phone and called Mum in St. Lucia (which wasn’t that easy to do, not having fingers or thumbs). I told her that my favorite teddy bear had been ripped and that Dad didn’t know how to fix it. So I suggested that she book a flight home the next day to come sew it back together, and that I would even pay for her flight home. She said that it would have to wait until she got back. But she DID tell me where the secret stash of squeaky balls were – so that kind of alleviated my ‘missing mummy’ sickness. I didn’t bother to tell her that I made that story up, or that I would have used her credit card to buy the flight anyway. I think Dad saw that I was a bit down from all that though, because the next day he surprised me with a brand new pair of shiny Ray-Ban sunglasses that were perfectly sized to fit my little face. That, plus a new squeaky ball was enough to have me smiling again : ) These will be handy on my upcoming trip to the Bahamas! So the day before Mum was returning, it was a rush as usual for Dad to clean the house. He asked me if I could help him out, so I offered to do the toughest job of dusting and polishing my trophies. In truth, it was just because I don’t trust anyone else to do a good enough job. Then, when Mum finally arrived, I was there at the airport waiting for her. Actually, we had a little while to wait for her, so I figured I might as well take advantage of this massage chair in the meantime. I’ve had better massages, but I guess it wasn’t bad for 2 bucks.. I have come to recognize the airport as the place Mum leaves from and comes back to. As my fans on Facebook noticed well, you can’t even see my tail in this photo because it’s wagging so fast! So overall, I enjoyed my time with Dad, but it’s nice to have Mum back home. For one thing, I’m not alone during the day anymore since she works from home. So we’re now back to our regular routine, including our 3:00 break for kisses and playtime! Keep lady-lovin’, ~ Crusoe