Oh No, Anything But The VET!

For those of you who follow me on Facebook, you’ll likely know that I went through a very traumatic event yesterday. Mum took me to the VET, and without even the slightest warning. In fact, she pretty much tricked me. She said we were going into town to get me new toys (since she threw out a bunch of my old ones this past week).

Here is me in the car, happy at the prospect of getting a new toy, but oblivious as to what was about to happen.

Dachshund Going to the Vet

Now I can always tell where we’re going by which way we turn at the first stop sign. Left means we’re just going into town. But if we turn right, that can mean a number of bad things. It could mean that (1) we’re going to the airport, (2) we’re driving somewhere far, or (3 – and the worst) we’re going to the vet.

Guess what, we turned right.

At the point I was willing to do anything to escape. I even hopped on my iPhone and wrote this desperate message to my Facebook fans:

“HELP! I’m writing this from my iPhone. I’m in the car with Mum, and she’s locked all the doors. We just turned right at the first stop sign which can only mean we’re headed to the VET! Quick, someone call in a doggynapping and say it’s a crazy lady driving a silver Subaru with license plate 2J7 674K.. Hurry!”

Now normally I would have made a much bigger scene at the vet, but since there was a camera following me, I didn’t want to totally embarrass myself. So I did my best to stay cool, calm, and collected. I couldn’t help be on edge though, and I had major ‘shakes’. I’m sure you can tell how nervous I look there!

Dog Waiting at the Vet

I couldn’t bring myself to walk into the doctor’s room though. Mum had to (forcefully) carry me.

Usually at this point I have some sort of ancient feline instincts that come out of me. As if I had retractable claws, my paws sharpen into little wolverine points and I try to climb up as high as I can on Mum – right to the top of her head if I could. I use my claws to get up there with no discretion for her clothes or skin.

But, as I mentioned, this time I tried to play it cool. So here I am, patiently waiting for the vet to come see me (but secretly planning my escape).

Dachshund Veterinarian

Then the vet came. By this point I’m shaking like a leaf. I heard the vet start to talk about the microchip he was about to put in my back, and how it usually hurts more than a regular shot – because it’s a wider needle. I almost fainted. I had to shut my eyes and look away..

Dachshund Hates the Vet

It happened so fast. Before I even had a chance to escape, they were on me.

The vet had an assistant waiting around the corner, and before I knew it multiple hands were holding me down. It was a short scuffle and I did my best to wiesel out of there, but it was just too much. They had me pinned.

Funny Dog at the Vet

But, as quickly as it started, it was all over. They gave me the needle and I didn’t make a peep – I didn’t even twitch or jerk. In fact, it didn’t hurt at all. I won’t try to make a big deal of it, but I guess I’m tougher than I make myself out to be. So ya, no problem, it’s all good. Although, I kind of wish I acted tough in the first place now..

Mum still didn’t take me to PetSmart though. I’ve been giving her the benefit of the doubt, thinking that she’ll take me there soon to get some new toys. I’m getting impatient. So tomorrow morning she can expect not to find her slippers in less than a million pieces.. maybe that will speed things up?

Anyway, not quite the ideal weekend I had in mind. But we’ll see if anything turns around!

Keep toughin’ it,

~ Crusoe

(p.s. notice my new social media sharing buttons below ; )



11 Responses to Oh No, Anything But The VET!

  1. I came with a tattoo in my ear so mom and dad always tease about me about being a tattooed girl. Just keep a watch on the chip. Apparently they can move around quite a bit.

    Did mum finally take you to PetSmart? or maybe a nice boutique? I’m a little sad we aren’t going to the big dog park with her Poosa today. The snow has been falling for 3 days and the roads are a mess. May have to put on a coat and just do the back yard now dad has shoveled a path in it. I hate boots and I get terrible snow balls if it’s not shoveled and then mom has to pull ice pellets out from between the pads on my feet. Not fun.

  2. Awesome post Crusoe. Love the squeezed eyes shut face you made when the vet came in. Priceless!

    a fellow dachshund friend from beautiful british columbia, Duke

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Crusoe the Celebrity Dachshund

Crusoe is the wiener dog extraordinaire who has won the hearts of many through his wacky home-made outfits, viral videos, NYTimes Bestselling book, and larger-than-life personality.



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