Dachshund 10 Commandments

I have decided that I want to be remembered for more than just being a sexy dawg. I want to contribute something of importance to dachshundkind, something that will make the name ‘Crusoe’ go down in history.

So, I made these commandments. Although they aren’t really command-ments, but rather some things you might want to consider in your life as a dachshund. Unlike the original commandments, these aren’t set in stone – so there could be more! And if they don’t all apply to you, no problem! Every dachshund is unique and different (which is actually one of the commandments!)

  1. Thou shalt never let an intruder go unharassed (human or especially critter).
  2. Thou shalt never dislike cheese (and most dairy products – but if you do it’s okay).
  3. Thou shalt always look cute, no matter your age, color, sex, or the setting/scenario.
  4. Thou shalt never let a squirrel (or other attractive small vermin) go unchased (unless it’s by a road).
  5. Thou shalt never trust a cat, or a wire-haired dachshund (why? find out here).
  6. Thou shalt be admired for thy quirks (it’s good to be different!).
  7. Thou shalt always have under-the-cover snuggling privileges.
  8. Thou shalt never accept the stereotype that small dogs are incapable of doing the things big dogs do (as is the mission of YouDidWhatWithYourWeiner.com)
  9. Thou shalt use whatever means necessary to get attention.
  10. Thou shalt not be forced to go out in less-than-comfortable weather conditions (unless we can be convinced that it will be a load of fun).
  11. (Bonus Commandment!) Thou shalt never have enough kisses!

So as I stand upon this rock, I proclaim these commandments and ask to you, “am I missin’ any?”

Strong Dachshund

Let me know on Facebook or in the comment section below!

Keep ballin’,

~ Crusoe




12 Responses to Dachshund 10 Commandments

  1. I am afraid I have to disagree on two points. I expect Chester and Gretel to be nice to kitty…although I admit there is not a high rate of success here with Chester. Gretel doesn’t really care about kitties too much. Also, a little uncomfortable cold never hurt anyone. Sometimes I have to coax them outside. After they are out they do have a lot of fun 🙂

  2. I must say, those are great commandments. My addition would be that my Momma shall provide me with a new toy/chewy each time she returns from the store. I see no excuse when just she brings in bags for the refridgerator. She needs help resisting sales so she has more money to spend on me.

    By the way, I’m Baxter. I’m from Zelienople, Pennsylvania. My dad found your blog on Stumble, and we’ve been reading ever since.

  3. My little miniature girl also has an – It was on the floor/somewhere I could reach rule that says that makes it hers and gets pulled to her bed.

  4. These are so good! Especially the under-the-cover snuggling privileges! Eleanor is also a mini doxie living in Ottawa! (love all your Noodle coats, we love them too!)

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Crusoe the Celebrity Dachshund

Crusoe is the wiener dog extraordinaire who has won the hearts of many through his wacky home-made outfits, viral videos, NYTimes Bestselling book, and larger-than-life personality.



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