My Christmas List

Christmas is getting closer, and for most people it is currently shopping time, so I figured this post would be good timing. This will also be good practice for the real letter I will write to Santa.

First of all, let’s discuss this guy, Santa. Mum tells me he’s a real person, but I’m not so sure. I’ve seen plenty of documentaries on the polar regions to know that you couldn’t permanently live there. So maybe the whole “North Pole” thing is just a marketing gimmick, I don’t know. And I seem to always be in a different place every Christmas, so how does he know where I am? And what’s with the reindeer sled? It’s 2011 – we have cars and planes..

Also, I’ve seen a couple pics of the guy and I got to say, it doesn’t look like he goes on many walks expeditions. So I figure I’ll leave him a salad instead of the typical cookies. Anyway, I shouldn’t bash him too much in case he is actually real and in case he reads this.

All I know is that some guy named “Santa” signed a lot of my presents last year. So whoever he is, I can like him.

Last year I was happy to do a little dress-up as Father Crusoe.

Dachshund Santa Costume

Anyway, Santa, I’ve been a really good dog. I listen to my mum and dad all the time (except when I don’t want to), and I haven’t even bitten any faces off this year. Although can’t say I didn’t try. And I still can’t make any promises.

I would also like to be Presidintster of the world. I know that isn’t really a tangible thing you can put in a box, but then again Santa doesn’t seem very tangible himself…

I also think it’s about time I could use a private jet of my own. I’m tired of traveling in that little mesh bag on public flights where the second I peep my head out of the bag for some fresh air and to stretch my neck, a grumpy flight attendant comes along and says “zip it up!”. But the people on Jetblue are pretty good – I like them. My travel bag is actually made by Jet Blue’s Jetpaws. Anyway. That’s still no way for a celebrity of my stature to travel. I don’t need a big jet, just one big enough for me, mum, dad, and a few doggy friends. Santa, it probably won’t fit in my condo so please park it on the street out front.

jetblue jetpaws

I would also like a ‘double’ or ‘triple’ life’s supply of squeaky balls from Noodle & Friends – just a ‘life’s supply’ won’t be enough. A couple of bones too for my stocking would be nice.

I would like a new brother or sister dachshund too (my mum made me write this one – fact is, I like all the attention I get and I don’t think one household can support two celebrity dachshunds. My dad agrees with me on this one, but my mum insists I want a new buddy) Oh well, we’ll see! It might not be that bad…

And for my last Christmas item, I would like to wish the best to all my fans and friends, and I hope everyone enjoys the holidays!

So keep a look out, because this year it might be a sexy, Father Crusoe coming to visit ; ) ; )

Dachshund dressed as Santa

Keep wishin’,

~ Father Crusoe

Comments

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5 Responses to My Christmas List

  1. If Santa fulfills wishes on cuteness, you are sure to get everything you ask for 🙂

    It appears that I am still ending up in your spam. My comment disappears into spamland when I post it under my regular profile. I have to use an old email to get through. If you could kindly mark us as not spam we will stop having problems. Thanks.

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Crusoe the Celebrity Dachshund

Crusoe is the wiener dog extraordinaire who has won the hearts of many through his wacky home-made outfits, viral videos, NYTimes Bestselling book, and larger-than-life personality.

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